i feel like i have made a mistake.

i dont know what that mistake might be.

i do not know why i feel like it is one.

i do not know when i made it beyond "after 8AM".

i do not know what i did could possibly have been a mistake.

except i kind of do feel like i know it but i am blocking myself from thinking about it.

it is probably in the flavor of someone not understanding what i meant by something, but thats not a mistake.

but it feels like one because its either me being bad at communiation or the misunderstander somehow still misunderstanding it, in which case i would feel angry at them for some reason.

people not understanding me even after i give a simple explanation makes me really mad. i dont know why. i am often told i am good at explaining, and usually quite understanding of not understanding. but this depends on me understanding the lack of understanding.

if i get a "?" in response to my response to "?" then i explode. because it wont get better until you tell me what the FUCK im doing wrong! TELL ME MY MISTAKE! I CANT FIX IT OTHERWISE!

(and thus the title actually went from relevant to irrelevant and back to relevant for the content of this self. neat!)

whats worse is if once i explain it for the 3rd time, you give a response that is dismissing and negative, like its my fault you didnt give me anything to work with.
"ah :woozy_face:" WHAT.

honestly that emoji is in general so incredibly overused for what it is. confusion and bewilderment and disgust? really?? there isnt even an ironic meaning to it because everyone uses it exactly as that a majority of the time. and this is coming from someone who really likes the /hj tone indicator. that tone indicator is super easy to grasp (despite having several total meanings, only one really ever makes sense in any given situation, or the others are so similar that it doesnt matter). not here. there is no pattern to it, and i cannot imagine any way to use it that makes sense in most of these situations.

this emoji is probably the best way to ragebait me.