i think spl has died. it was about time, i guess, but it still feels wrong. i also dont really think i will ever make another programming language after it. it was a successful failure. it was a usable and useful language, but it was impossible to make fast enough to be worth using. the syntax was too complex as well. most of it was fine, but some ideas were simply bad.

and i dont think theres any point in trying to remedy it, as itself or as a new language. at least if im the one doing it.

the paradigm is great, the ideas were great, many of the features too, and yet: i dont want to continue.

i do not want to maintain a programming language.

i also do not want to maintain a non-programming language.

i do not want to maintain a language.

the task is too much for me; it is just not something i can do.

but thats a lie, right? it must be! if it wasnt, i would have to let myself be content with fundamentally being unable to build my own tech stack. i can build a computer from microchips. i can program it in machine code. but i cannot from there start programming it in a well-usable language, because i cannot make a usable language. theoretically maybe, but even then im unsure. i could make something spl-like, but i cannot build a compiler for something like that in basic instructions. i cannot even talk to a hard drive. an eeprom would do i guess??

but i cannot do it either way, because i cannot build a compiler for any sort of useful language. if i cannot do it in rust, i doubt i will be able in cpu instructions.

what now?

(i stand before a choice. the choice is between this self being a distilled one or an undistilled one. i have thoughts that go against the current flow, but i have more thoughts that fit it as well. what do i do?)

unfortunately spl has kind of proven me wrong. it represents The Wall - The Wall around my abilities, the place where i am incredibly fucking incompetent and probably will not be able to overcome it. i can design a good language, i can interpret a good language, i can make the computer do the same, but i cannot design a computer language, one the computer can truly understand to follow. i can neither conceive nor conceive the translator that makes the computer understand it. this is where i end and the wilderness begins, this is where i fail.

i have rarely known true failure. it was always something temporary, something i could overcome. but this is a Wall. i neither can nor want to do this. i could come to can it, but i do not want to because what it requires is False. everything i can come up with is too much or too little.

spl is dead without offspring, the family tree ends here.