- ive been in borderline delirium for the last few weeks. im fine i think but we will see when i get my blood test results. quality may (will) be subpar. today is a bit better i THINK but maybe not -



a sizable portion of the roof is filled now. ive worked on this for about two days, and i think i'll call it done for now.

ive already planted a few potatoes in. the weather has been such that i expect a reasonably mild summer, meaning i can plant these this late and still expect some results.

there isnt much to say otherwise, but i will anyway. ive been feeling a bit uneasy recently. the surprise visit of two outsiders really caught me off-guard, especially considering these were actually here with a purpose of control, not of having a good time. i may need to do some sorts of preparations to genuinely handle these situations one of these days. im not particularly interested in being chased out, or worse: dragged out. the best way to prepare is to make it seem like there is noone here, while also making it clear that this is a place where noone is welcome, but without attracting attention.

these are mutually exclusive. there is no point.

the only thing i can do is react, and react well. if i want to keep going here, the only way is to be ready to accept any and all setbacks. i couldnt move my pot of soup. so i made a new one here. i did prime it with a little of the old soup, but that didnt make it much less bland. perpetual stew doesnt like not being perpetual.

it is imperative that i find a way to heat it that isnt so obvious. whether that be by siphoning away the smoke, or heating it differently. i need to be more invisible. i cannot make myself invisible, but i can get close enough. the seas of grey are excellent for detecting contrast, and yet noone notices the striking dark green wallpapers behind any window they look towards. i can become like the dark green wallpaper too, no invisibility cloak necessary.

* * *

the solar inverter will have to wait.

its a difficult decision to delay it further, but it must be done because i have decided so. i have decided so because if i get started on it now, i will lose sight of the thing i havent been doing enough of recently: enjoying my time. too much doing, not enough observing. not enough thinking about the scent of small amounts of mold mixed with old, comforting, dry and wet carpet. not enough observing the immaculately chaotic leftovers of the old life in entona.

i havent left general society only to let myself enter an infinite tomb of stress yet again. i need to remember why i am here.



- im actually quite impressed with how nicely this came together. maybe that energy drink really was the right decision. its even in a style i genuinely enjoy writing in! -