i cant break people's mental loops for them. but i can break my own.

i have noticed how much humans run on mental feedback loops. mental autoamplification.

some people have loops that make their lives hell. usually it is possible to break out of them, either with external help or by own force, however this is merely a process of natural selection for these processes. if a process survives and evolves enough, it can become resistent and eventually so potent that it not only makes life hell, but also prevents escape. one very effective way to do that is to make thinking so unbearable that the level of reflection necessary to escape, becomes unbearable too. if any attempt at self-reflection results in suicidal thoughts, you cant get better without massive strength of will. eliminate the strength of will too, and the loop requires pure luck to escape. bonus points: strengthen the despair through perfectionism, inability to build coping mechanisms, amplification of negative emotions, and dread of anything that might require pushing through emotional / mental barriers.

i do not have this loop, luckily. i make sure to change often enough that negative loops have trouble forming. but i do have loops i do not like. one of them is what makes me such a people-pleaser sometimes. at least i think that is what it is, as it is somewhat difficult to grasp fully since it is all subconscious.

i start to feel bad. this means i need something to feel good. an easy way to feel good is to rely on others for it. this means i need to please others in some way, so i need to start filtering more. to filter, i need to suppress myself, making me feel worse. feel bad, need others, filter more, feel worse. the result is dependence, mirroring, instability, and feeling kinda bad. the only ways to break the cycle are manual hedonism or isolation. manual hedonism is hedonism that is done manually. its not ordinary hedonism because it requires effort to enact, but it is still hedonism. this can range from watching youtube to trolling people to any other self indulgent act. the key is not to give in until its no longer hedonistic, and to then fully drop the context. if you were trolling, dont try to fix anything, drop the context. if you were watching youtube, dont try to watch something better or finish the video, drop the context. isolation on the other hand attacks the filtering part, you cant filter if theres nothing to filter.

i cant break other people's loops without knowing what their attack surface is and without them being willing to help me break it. i especially cant break their loops without violating the manual hedonism or isolation i need. thusly, it is time for me to once again become evil. if youre not here for my enjoyment, fuck off. i recommend being extremely entertaining or not being at all. fuck you all.

its time to break out again.
its time
to become evil
once more.