i am currently not gaming. i am writing more instead. this is kind of a cycle at this point; whenever i form a habit (e.g. gaming a lot, consuming a lot of videos, etc), and notice that, i try to break it immediately. this of course doesnt happen for habits i actually consider positives, but gaming is no such thing. forcing myself to be creative at all times can also be negative, which is why this last wave of gaming even happened. it took me a bit to break the habit, and then i was gaming. then that formed a habit, and now im breaking it again.

generally, whenever i have a choice to do something with potential for harm, i only let myself if i have a low desire to do it. if i reflect and notice i am really yearning to e.g. pick up my phone right now, then i will see this as a sign to NOT pick up my phone right now. if i want to pick it up but its more of a "meh, i could do without but thatd be nice" then im much more likely to actually pick it up.

in a way, this is me exercising my free will against my habits, practicing to defy my instincts and to break cycles i might get stuck in. it has already saved me sometimes, e.g. from messing up my sleep. if i have "a bit too much" desire to go to sleep late (and am in a situation where it doesnt matter that much), im gonna go earlier just to fucking spite myself.
you think you have control over me? try me! no matter who "you" is, including if it is myself.